This cartoon me — created by GQ for my profile there — is giving the real me beard envy. Deadly serious beard envy. Like, I look at this beard the same way Kappas look at Benetton mannequins.

EastEnders heartthrob Rob Kazinsky, 39, looks unrecognisable with a shaved head and beard as he details plans to get back into shape after calling himself 'a fat b*****d' ...