It is 8am on a Wednesday. I unlock my phone and launch my opening salvo. “You have sad eyes like Maggie Gyllenhaal and your arms are steaming, tumescent hams.” I sit in silence, waiting ...

It's the 69th year of Eurovision, and 26 countries are performing in Switzerland in the hope of winning this year. After two rounds of semi-finals, the countries were chosen by a vote. Last year's ...

When his departing loved one pats him one last time before walking away, he says to Chewy, “You are the man of the house when I am gone,” but the vote of confidence does not seem to cheer him up one ...

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